What Our Children Really Need
:
Okay, so we all want to be the best parents we can be. But what does it really take? Judging from what our media feeds us, we can only assume that it a vast home library of parenting and self-help books. In actuality, nothing could be further from the truth! To grasp this, we need to look more closely at what our children really need from us:
CONNECTION (BELONGING)
By expressing acceptance, love and appreciation --frequently, directly, and openly. Hugging, cuddling; spending one-on-one time each day; greeting, playing, shopping, working and eating together
SUPPORT AND VALIDATION
By showing interest in what interests your child; working together on projects; encouraging patience, hard work and self reliance; emphasizing effort over results; accentuating personal satisfaction over approval from others; sharing personal stories that parallel your child's experience.
SAFETY AND PROTECTION
Shielding your child from needless physical and emotional harm. Setting reasonable limits with logical consequences; encouraging requests for help; letting them know what you are feeling and experiencing; never threatening with rejection or 'leaving'sharing
FREEDOM TO EXPLORE
Encourage curiosity, reasonable risk-taking, and efforts at self-mastery. Invite imaginative thinking; respect your child's choices, opinions, feelings, likes and dislikes; create opportunities for discover, fun, and laughter together; welcome displays of affection
ACCEPTANCE
Give frequent, undivided attention. Listen closely and identify with what you child is feeling; show appreciation, spend time doing what your child wants to do; scratch each other's backs, wrestling, read, or just 'hang out' together; include your child in your favorite activities and work.
CONSISTENCY AND CONTINUITY
Be someone your child can count on, no matter what; follow through, be honest, reliable, and genuine; 'Walk the walk--don't just 'talk the talk'.
The Relationship Counseling Center, San Diego, CA
