What Our Children Really Need
:
FLEXIBILITY
Be receptive to new ideas and differences of opinion. Avoid getting 'locked'
into being 'right' or 'perfect'; don't keep score; check out assumptions; offer choices; remain open-minded
SELF-AWARENESS
Foster introspection in your child and take time to get to know yourself; tend to your 'unfinished business'; nurture yourself and enjoy your life; share your spiritual beliefs; inquire about their experiences and feelings.
SELF-EXPRESSION
Feelings are neither 'good' nor 'bad', so allow the full range of emotions; be loving in words and deeds; be real--show your feelings; emphasize curiosity and creativity; hold family meetings to 'clear' feelings and resolve disagreements before bedtime.
HEALTHY SOCIALIZATION
Let be and, gradually let go. Introduce your child to caring adults; don't take your child's criticism and rejection personally, but see them as signs of his/her struggle toward independence; teach cooperation; welcome your child's friends into your home; volunteer in the commuity.
FAIRNESS
Give your child the benefit of the doubt. Be considerate and avoid judging;include him/her in rule-making, decisions and planning; own up to your mistakes; apologize for hurting others' feelings, even when you think you're right. Show appreciation, spend time doing what your child wants to do; scratch each other's backs, wrestle, read, or just 'hang out' together; include your child in your favorite activities and work.
"Your relationship is the garden in which your children grow"
Gayle Peterson.
The Relationship Counseling Center, San Diego, CA
