QUALITIES OF HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
(How Does Yours Stack Up?)
- Partners have differences, disagree and argue, but without threats to ‘leave’ or abuse of any kind
- Partners make their relationship a priority (not just in words but in action)
- Partners can meet their own needs as well as taking care of each other willingly and lovingly
- Partners feel ‘special’ to each other and are committed to growing their relationship
- Partners communicate wants, needs and feelings
- The relationship feels safe, comfortable and fun (you look forward to seeing each other)
- Sex ‘flows’ and is mutually satisfying
- Partners are honest and keep their agreements
- Partners can say ‘no’ without feeling guilty or afraid of retribution
- Partners give and receive feedback from each other without being overly defensive
- Partners are able to do their work, attend to their children, and have friends without compromising their relationship
PARTNERING TIPS
- Be honest and authentic, rather than avoidant or accommodating
- Ask for what you want and need
- Allow yourself and each other to have expectations and to feel and express disappointment when these aren’t being met
- Check out your assumptions
- Allow yourself and each other to be fallible—to make mistakes, be unreasonable and moody sometimes. No one is perfect
- Practice effective communications regularly
- Nurture the relationship. Find time to be alone for fun and intimacy.
The Relationship Counseling Center, San Diego, CA
